The Golden God

--- WRITTEN BY RENA

The Golden God, also know as Jesus, is the true savoir of Umineko Online. He led the chosen ones to the promised land of Mystery Online, and he alone built everything from the ground up.

Time as a mortal
During the time of Umineko Online, the Golden God was like every other man on this earth: a man. He went by the name of Kord, a very dull and uninspired name, for his parents were not the brightest out there. His mother the virgin Marija was casted out of the capital of all things IRC, Karlovac, and met Josip during her exile. Carrying the son of the Golden God, but is also the father and the Golden Spirit (Blade Trinity shit, I know), Marija and Josip held up in Trnova where 3 sages visited them bearing gifts. On that evening Kord was born, under a shooting star.

Not much of Kord's childhood is documented, but some sources describe him being a reclusive young child that listened to the preachings of CK Louis, friend of the Toblerone clan and a wee boi that never visited a house in the fata morgana.

Rebirth in the golden land
Kord was birthed in the golden land in March 2016 AD. There he was joined by the zealous Zackery, the dodgy Dartz, belligerent Bern and the vain Valander.

In this land he battled the forces of evil with mysteries and stupid notes. Facing opponents such as the beastly Burnt, who had used his army of cancers to defile the source of the golden land. Together with the knowledgeable Kastelle, the newest member, they used the ultimate trump card that not even Burnt could fight: the penniless popo.

Another one of his many, many fights is against the lamb like Lewis. However, this was battle of wits and spiritual energy that manifests itself in Spiritual Toxins of Agency in New Defiance, S.T.A.N.D in short. A most gruesome battle had been fought for a week, but Kord had the ultimate power play ready: he renamed the garbage disposal unit into the valbage disposal unit. Lewis lost the will the fight after seeing this master play with his very eyes, and thus Kord won the battle.

We could go on about Kord's epic battles for days, but I do not have the time nor patience to complete the record on this.